I’ve failed at sticking to my workout and exercise regimen

I have failed. I went from being in the range of 70-73 kg to now being at 80-79. And it’s not muscle. In fact, I lost some muscle mass because I did very little strength training for the past year.

There’s a part of me that says: “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Even in those past 6 months, where you’ve really exercised much less than in the past, you’ve still exercised more than you used to 5 years ago.”  And that is true.

My new low in 2019 is still higher than my routines from 2005 – 2015. So that’s a good thing. But I’m also getting older.

The body doesn’t respond to exercise the way it used to, muscle builds slower, joints require more care. My metabolism isn’t what it used to be. I can’t eat like I used to eat—I just gain weight so quickly nowadays. But ultimately it’s not about that—it’s about mastering myself.

It’s about that inner struggle. It’s about building the muscle of acting like the person I aspire to be. It’s about being true to my highest self. And I haven’t been doing that. It’s time to hold myself to a higher standard. It’s time to turn pro. It’s time to build the right habits again.

“We can never free ourselves from habits. The human being is a creature of habit. But we can replace bad habits with good ones. We can trade in the habits of the amateur and the addict for the practice of the professional and the committed artist or entrepreneur.”

Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro

These days, I’m just establishing the habit of going to the gym again. My current goal is to go three times a week and do 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. I’ve been doing this for the past 2 weeks now, so here’s to new beginnings and not breaking a winning streak.

Getting in shape is tough. I can feel that big wad of fat around my belly and how it makes everything I do harder. It weighs me down. It makes everything harder.

Yes, I do love enjoying great food. But the price I pay for this indulgence, it’s not really worth it. I got to go back to practicing self-restraint. I’ve got to turn pro.

Turning pro is an act of self-abnegation. Not Self with a capital-S, but little-s self. Ego. Distraction. Displacement. Addiction.

Steven Pressfield, Turning Pro

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